Even though my Real Beauty blog is about a women’s best quality’s being on her insides, it doesn’t mean we can’t pamper ourselves to feel absolutely fantastic on the outside. Bon Appetit!

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My little secret is out – I just turned 40 – and though I’m not upset about this milestone, it did inspire me to think about how well I was taking care of myself — specifically my skin. I have shunned facials and spa treatments and expensive creams my whole life. I’m frugal and I had acne. It took me years to find Proactiv (been using successfully since 1993) and I didn’t believe that spending a ton of money on a spa treatment would do anything for me.

But as I approached 40, I started thinking that maybe I could help my complexion (especially motivated by the beautiful women of Sydney), by getting microdermabrasion. I don’t like to wear foundation, so camouflaging my face was not an option. So, encouraged by the lovely Amanda (Realize Beauty), I began to hunt for a place that would beautify me.

I found Lotus Spa in Bondi Junction - an elegant & friendly oasis – where I was told my skin had sun damage and would need extensive therapy. This was no surprise to me as I’d already taken a beating at another spa (and wasn’t keen to go back) but it still pricked my ego. But the lovely woman was nice, honest and right. So after she explained the details, I booked an appointment.

I really thought microdermabrasion would be harsh and I would have to go into hiding with scraggly skin – I was SO wrong! It was a wonderful experience. I received the crystal method (not diamond) with a device from Beauty Culture. It was more of a sucking vacuum than a face blasting. What a relief.

The treatment started with a soothing cleanser to prepare my skin. The the microdermabrasion. The beautician (she was globally and locally certified) gently smoothed my skin so the vacuum didn’t bruise the fleshy areas like my cheeks. It was enjoyable and didn’t feel like I was losing a layer of skin.

After the main treatment, she put on a soothing masque and serum and treated me to a hand/scalp massage. It was decadent!

She did warn me to wear sunscreen — that’s a given — and sent me on my way after telling me I looked radiant! Thank you very much. I came home and took pictures but didn’t notice too much difference. My skin was definitely brighter and clearer and I looked pampered – my skin was definitely softer, too. My skin felt just a little tight but there was no obvious redness. The next day, my skin still had that pampered look and I noticed I looked rested and a bit younger.

Success!!

I am certainly going back in a few months for another treatment. Will I go back to Lotus Spa? Maybe. I’m going to visit a few others and see what I find. I am on the quest for the friendliest and most feminine spa in Bondi Junction. The kind of place that makes me feel like a beautiful woman — before my treatment. I’m looking for ambiance…an ultimate experience. It will take a lot to surpass Lotus Spa, and I’ll share what I find.

Thanks Amanda, for inspiring me to treat myself to a much-needed and loved treatment. I’m a believer!

A couple years ago, we moved to the beach and I volunteered to deliver books to people. That’s how I met Isabel* – and she changed my life.

Isobel was beautiful because she was…Adventurous & Brave. She was one of the first female foreign correspondents during the war. She also founded and ran her own media firm in California for many years – I know she paved the way for many women in Media – and having a Journalism degree myself, she was an inspiration to me.

I enjoyed our time together – it was only for a few years, but I grew to care for her. Even though I brought books to Isobel, I got so much out of our visits. She amazed and amused me with her stories of the war, of her childhood and her career. And we always enjoyed a little cocktail during our chats.

It seemed she was never backed down from a new experience. Even when she moved to a new retirement community in her 90′s, she continued to look for fun. She played Bingo, attended the ice cream socials & movie nights, and attempted to start a newsletter. She didn’t become complacent and hide in her room – she kept active and alert – always on the lookout for a little fun.

I know she was part of the reason I was so excited move to Australia. And as sad as I was to leave her, I was proud to go on an international adventure like Isabel.

Thank you, Isabel – for all the fun and lovely chats (and the yummy cocktails). Thank you for your stories and for sharing your life with me. Thank you for inspiring me to be more adventurous – I think of you during my travels and hope you know you touched my life.

Cheers, darling – I raise my glass to you!

*named changed to protect the innocent

When I was a wee one, I joined a leadership organisation called TACSC (The Association of Catholic Student Councils). Led by Marilyn Thickett (here’s Marilyn’s special tribute), I volunteered for many years (and worked for a few, too).

Marilyn’s gal Friday for quite of few of the early years was Sister Denis Anne. She was an incredibly cool chick. She was funny, spicy, straight-forward, and just a real comfortable and stable presence. I loved her immediately and enjoyed being a fellow staff member at summer conference.

When I arrived to high school, talk filled the halls about a stern sister. They were talking about Sister Denis Anne – I could not believe it! You see, I spent some of the most uplifting and awesome experiences with her and the rest of the TACSC staff.

But so many people didn’t get the fortunate opportunity to see her when she really shined. And she did – not in an American Idol way, but she was so real and true – and she loved every one of us.

I was one of the lucky ones. I laughed when people acted afraid of her. And I understand that is an easy judgment for the Girls Dean of a super Catholic School. But she always had a mischievous twinkle in her eye – that’s what I loved most about her.

After high school, I had an operation and had to spend time in hospital. It gets pretty lonely there, and an easy place to wallow. I was feeling sorry for myself and nervous I wouldn’t recover in time to go to University (and follow in the path of my favourite movie, Animal House). So you can imagine how pathetic I was.

But the best memory I have of that experience – the turning point – was when I opened my eyes from a nap and saw Sister Denis Anne and Marilyn at the foot of my bed. It was one of the nicest things to have happened to me. I don’t think I ever told either of them what it meant to have two such lovely and important ladies visiting me, but I felt like a VIP from that point.

Over the years, I saw her – she always had that twinkle and sassy nature. I stayed in touch with her and sent her cards when she was retired. But her health was declining. But I still wrote to her even though I didn’t know if she remembered me. It didn’t matter. I didn’t want her to forget how much someone loved her.

But there are so many people who cared for her. She wasn’t scary or un-hip. She was full of love and totally approachable.

She’s now another angel in my life. I’m sad I won’t be able to say a formal goodbye at her funeral, but just writing this post makes me feel closer to her.

Love you, Sister Denis Anne – thanks for shining so bright and warming me with your best self.

I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for it, right? Well, here it is – I do hope to publish it one day – and I’ll keep adding to it since there are gazillion beautiful women with a scrillion beautiful qualities. I plan to meet and write about as many as I possibly can.

Who needs any more negative, bad, sad, depressing, greedy, angry news? Not me.

Enjoy, my friends!

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Real Beauty Overview
I’ve read many books and magazines about beauty. Some discuss how to achieve outer beauty –
including cosmetics, exercise, and diet. And some discuss the importance of inner beauty – letting your inner light shine. I think they all help a little. But, what if you are like me, and lack the confidence in believing in your own unique beauty? I used to feel I had to have every quality in spades to be beautiful – inside and out. That’s too much pressure. No one can achieve that and still have time to enjoy themselves. But I can admire all these qualities and want to have a little of every one of them in me.

And that’s when I discovered living models of all the beautiful qualities I wanted and admired. I’m so lucky to know many beautiful women. And instead of being jealous and competing with them, I started to embrace them and love them for what made them so lovely. I realized that just because they had wonderful qualities, didn’t mean I didn’t, or couldn’t. It made it more possible for me to appreciate them and learn about them.

I spent my life afraid that people wouldn’t like me if I wasn’t perfect – if I didn’t posses every great
quality. I learned, with the help of some great people, that being genuine is the most beautiful gift I can give myself and others. Is being beautiful the most important goal to have? No, but feeling beautiful means a lot to me. And maybe it means something to other women.

So why am I writing this? Because there are so many books that separate women, that claim we aren’t good enough, smart enough, efficient enough, and powerful enough without professional help. There are so many articles out there that claim we NEED these tips, these connections, these buzzwords, these accessories, the pills, these surgeries and we need to spend all this money to be important. But we just need to be ourselves and let our light shine naturally. We don’t need coaching, or therapy, or drugs to bring out our BEST SELF. And I know women to prove it. Are some of these enjoyable? Do they help?

Sure they do – but they aren’t imperative to our thriving and surviving.

I’ve been afraid to age. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. What will happen when I lose my youth? What will I have to offer? Who will love me? Who will admire me? Who will think I’m
beautiful? It’s silly but I’m sure there are other people out there like me, otherwise there would be no cosmetics, plastic surgery, diet pills, or miracle drugs. But I know plenty of gorgeous ladies who don’t go to extremes. What is it about them? It’s their natural beauty. They embrace their individuality and uniqueness. That’s what makes them beautiful.

So I decided, as a thank you to them, I’d share my appreciation and stories. I’m sure many of them will be surprised or embarrassed. I would be. I’m a little surprised and embarrassed writing this. But I don’t feel our world values and honors women and their qualities enough. But I do. And I’m doing something about it. I want to encourage all women to find their unique qualities and let them shine. Our society and our young women need them. I need them.

These are my least favourite posts, but I consider myself lucky to have known such incredible people to write about and remember.

When I decided to write my book, Real Beauty, (Real Beauty Book Overview), I wanted to honour all the awesome women in my life and share the qualities that make them beautiful. I’m happy to add to my list, even though I’m upset to lose a friend.

About a year ago, I joined an amazing group, Soroptimist of Capitola (www.best4women.org). It’s an international organisation dedicated to bettering the lives of women and girls everywhere. It was one of the best things I’ve done for myself and have met the most fabulous women ever.

One of these women was MaryAnn. Right from the beginning, she took me under her wing. I loved her immediately. She was a long time member of Soroptimist – most recently from the Capitola club but previously belonged to the Watsonville club, too. She knew everyone!

I respected MaryAnn because she was honest, fiesty and strong. She was a proud and beautiful woman. Whenever she talked to me, she kept her head up and looked me straight in the eye. She didn’t seem afraid of anything. I could feel her confidence and bask in it, even when I was feeling unsure of myself or nervous.

I always enjoyed seeing her and her darling husband, Norm, at the Mid County Senior Center Ranch Breakfast http://www.mid-county-center.org/bkfst.shtml. It was one of the highlights for me each month. She didn’t mind when all the girls flirted with Norm. She knew she had a prince for a husband – so did all the other girls!

I especially enjoyed going to events with MaryAnn. We attended a Soroptimist event in Watsonville and she introduced me to anyone who came our way. She helped me feel comfortable and accepted. Joining a new group is hard, but she never let me feel anxious or alone. We drove around after the event and she shared her old neighborhood me. I felt I knew her so much better because she was generous with her time and her stories.

She was the last Capitola Soroptimist member I saw. I couldn’t leave town without saying good-bye one more time. I’m glad I did. It was a very hard thing for me to do – because I hate saying good-bye. I’ll avoid it at all costs. I just like to fade into the sunset. But she and Norm had come to mean so much to me, that I sucked it up and popped by her place on our way out of town. I could tell she was sad but she kept her head up and looked straight at me to say good-bye.

I wish I could be brave like MaryAnn. I think of her when I feel wimpy and need to toughen up a bit. I’ll always appreciate the time I spent with her.

I’m sorry I didn’t get to see her again. But I know the time I spent with her was special. I loved her fiercely and I will remember her fondly.

Cheers, MaryAnn – I raise a toast (champagne, of course) to you, and will miss your sweet smile and sassy nature.

As we move into 2008, I want to share with you how my book (Real Beauty Book Overview) started. I know you are all at the edge of you seat.

I’m proud to share all my Real Beauties with you, but let’s start at the very beginning…a very good place to…you know what I mean.

Happy 2008, my friends. I’m enchanted to introduce you to my muse.

Aunt Lolly is beautiful because she is…..KIND. Of all the extraordinary women in my life, the one who first inspired me to write this book was my Aunt Lolly. I wish everyone would have known her because she was the kindest person I’ve known. She died about 7 years ago and I still miss her a lot. I can still remember her as vividly as her bright red hair.

I introduced her here: http://kristinrohan.com/2006/07/23/appending-the-eighth-day-of-christmas…/ but I have so many more anecdotes to share. She was amazing.

Aunt Lolly was always excited and happy to talk to me and see me – like I was a very special and important VIP. She treated everyone that way. She would listen for hours to everything I said – no matter how mundane – and would always say, “Is that right?” or “Well, I’ll be darned.” Her eyes would sparkle and she would serve crackers, cheese and salami as if we were having high tea – she was the perfect hostess. It was special time with her and my Uncle Andy. Those were my favorite visits.

She wrote me the nicest letters. Her love would jump right off the pages and give me a hug. I felt close to her no matter where I was. Aunt Lolly had a sense of wonder and an interest in everything. And she had traveled around the world and knew important people. But it never stopped her from being kind to anyone she met.

She wasn’t rude or impatient – she always looked out for us. At my cousin’s wedding (Aunt Lol was in her late 80’s), she wanted to know who I thought was cute so she could set me up. She was always a hoot!

Aunt Lolly had a grand sense of humor, too. She and Uncle Andy used to spend the night at Christmas sometimes and hide some of our toys so we would have incomplete gifts. We’d have to looking for them and we had a ball. I was always smiling and laughing with Aunt Lol. We were her kids. She and Uncle Andy didn’t have any. She spoiled us and loved us and was proud of us as much as if we were hers. I considered myself lucky to have an extra grandma and grandpa – to add to my stellar collection of grandparents.

Aunt Lolly was polite and thoughtful till the day she died. My dad was the power of attorney and had to handle the tough business – it was very hard for him and I knew he struggled. The night before he had to decide about her, she quietly slipped away and he didn’t have to make any decisions. She was thoughtful and a true lady until the end.

At her funeral, I was thinking about Aunt Lolly and a song lyric kept playing in my head – “Only Kindness Matters.” I couldn’t hear anything else. That is one of the most powerful lessons I learned from her – only kindess matters. She lived her life like that, and that is her legacy.

I never think about her without a smile on her face or without her arms reaching out to me – whether it was to serve cheese and crackers to her guests, or to hug us – Aunt Lolly was always ready to welcome you into her life. I try to make her proud everyday – I don’t know how she made it all look so easy, but she was always beautiful.

Cheers, Aunt Lolly. Thanks for inspiring me to explore what Real Beauty is.
Real Beauty Book Overview

Here is an overview of my soon-to-be best seller – you can say you knew me when…..Real Beauty Book Overview

Sit back and enjoy!

Carol is beautiful because she is…..ACCEPTING and DEDICATED TO FAMILY. There are a lot of reasons I love her – but these are two of the most prevalent and admirable. You only have to spend a few minutes in her company to know how important it is for her to have her family close. And I don’t mean her husband, Jack and her two sons Greg & Eric. I mean anyone who comes to her home. She treats everyone like family. I’ve never known anyone more welcoming and hospitable than my Aunt Carol. And to me that is quite beautiful.

Carol doesn’t care if her house isn’t perfectly picked up when guests arrive. You’ll be accepted and hustled in before you know what is happening. She doesn’t care if you are staying one, two or three days. She opens her house to everyone. It is tradition to celebrate Thanksgiving at Carol’s each year. I always intend to stay one or two nights and not impose too much. But once I walk through that door, I want to be there all weekend. I never know who will end up at her table – but I know Carol will make them feel part of the bunch.

I’ve never felt more welcome or less of a bother almost anywhere else. And though I know most people WANT to create a comfortable atmosphere for their guests, it pales in comparison to Carol. And that’s because she accepts everyone for who they are and makes them feel good about it.

Carol creates a traditional Thanksgiving dinner each year. I count on the best turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie and all the fixings. I never really cared for Thanksgiving very much, but as each year has gone by, the more I have appreciated being at her house surrounded by all the good memories, good food and lively conversation. It’s become one of my favorite holidays – having the family together. I know it means a lot to Carol. As much as I like to be cared for, doted upon and included in the group, I know she does, too.

When I first moved to San Jose to attend SJSU, I was nervous to be away from home. But knowing she was only a short distance away, I know I would always have a place to go whenever I needed one. I know this is true today – even though she now lives in Oregon. There was not an Easter or Thanksgiving, when they lived in Morgan Hill, that I didn’t get an invitation. I know Carol always looks forward to seeing my husband and me. And we enjoy spending time with her. I’ve never doubted her love for us.

I find it challenging sometimes to invite people into my life or my home – schedules are tight, priorities are stifling, or we just need some time alone. But I think of Carol and know I shouldn’t be so concerned or stingy with my time and space. She’s one of the best examples of unselfish and non-judgmental love I’ve witnessed. I wish I could see more for her. I only hope she knows how appreciated she is and what her true friendship means to me.

Happy Birthday, Aunt Carol. Thank you for showing me how to be more accepting and dedicated. I appreciate your example and love you to pieces.

I am heartbroken – I’ll start with that. This is my favorite restaurant. And Cheryl and Papa are the most gracious hosts who belt out a rousing “New York, New York” that leaves my heart happy and my soul refreshed. I’ve not had an experience at a restaurant EVER and if you missed going to this piece of heaven, I’m sorry for you.

I’ll start with the Eggplant Parmesan – it’s to die for. It melts on my mouth and sends me to the moon. The Huevos Rancheros is a pleasant surprise – filled to the rim with yummyness. The Tomato Basil Soup is nector from the gods and whatever the special Poblano Chile Mexican soup they served on December 15th was like transcending into another orbit – it was THE BEST soup I ever experienced.

Why am I writing now? Well, it’s a sad shame to see this place go away. It sits three houses down from us and I’ve not met a nicer, more giving, energetic, charismatic, genuine and happy couple that Papa O and Cheryl. I’ve appreciated the super times we’ve had and I want my 5 readers to know it.

And who knew that a place that people stand in line down the block to get in to eat the most excellent meal they ever have (until they visit again) from a crew of friendly and gracious people you feel related to after your meal WOULD CLOSE!?! The extra kicker is the accordian player – who always played my favorites Jesu Joy of Man’s Desire and The Girl from Ipanema – it just doesn’t get any better.

But I’m grateful we were able to experience nirvana dining from Cheryl and Papa. The day I met them in person was like meeting two movie stars. I was so tickled to meet such nice people whom I had seen (and heard great things of) in the paper, around town, and in Nob Hill Foods at 6am. Everyone talks of them with such warmth and admiration.

Okay – my last gush – my birthday was last week. We went to dinner at Papa O’s. They remembered it was my special day and treated me like a queen. I loved it – but it did not compare to the elation and pure joy I felt when Papa O sang me Happy Birthday over the most sinful Chocolate Cake! I didn’t know I could smile from the inside out – I’m sure I looked like a goof, but it was the perfect ending to a perfect day. Thank you.

Thanks, Papa and Cheryl, for giving Capitola the finest example of what restaurant dining should be. You have touched my life (and my stomach) with your gifts of food, generosity, and friendship. Capitola is a better place because of Papa O’s and I’m a better (a little tubbier, but a lot happier) person, too. We will miss you but, wish you laughter, fun and happy times.

Cheers!

I am heartbroken – I’ll start with that. This is my favorite restaurant. And Cheryl and Papa are the most gracious hosts who belt out a rousing “New York, New York” that leaves my heart happy and my soul refreshed. I’ve not had an experience at a restaurant EVER and if you missed going to this piece of heaven, I’m sorry for you.

I’ll start with the Eggplant Parmesan – it’s to die for. It melts on my mouth and sends me to the moon. The Huevos Rancheros is a pleasant surprise – filled to the rim with yummyness. The Tomato Basil Soup is nector from the gods and whatever the special Poblano Chile Mexican soup they served on December 15th was like transcending into another orbit – it was THE BEST soup I ever experienced.

Why am I writing now? Well, it’s a sad shame to see this place go away. It sits three houses down from us and I’ve not met a nicer, more giving, energetic, charismatic, genuine and happy couple that Papa O and Cheryl. I’ve appreciated the super times we’ve had and I want my 5 readers to know it.

And who knew that a place that people stand in line down the block to get in to eat the most excellent meal they ever have (until they visit again) from a crew of friendly and gracious people you feel related to after your meal WOULD CLOSE!?! The extra kicker is the accordian player – who always played my favorites Jesu Joy of Man’s Desire and The Girl from Ipanema – it just doesn’t get any better.

But I’m grateful we were able to experience nirvana dining from Cheryl and Papa. The day I met them in person was like meeting two movie stars. I was so tickled to meet such nice people whom I had seen (and heard great things of) in the paper, around town, and in Nob Hill Foods at 6am. Everyone talks of them with such warmth and admiration.

Okay – my last gush – my birthday was last week. We went to dinner at Papa O’s. They remembered it was my special day and treated me like a queen. I loved it – but it did not compare to the elation and pure joy I felt when Papa O sang me Happy Birthday over the most sinful Chocolate Cake! I didn’t know I could smile from the inside out – I’m sure I looked like a goof, but it was the perfect ending to a perfect day. Thank you.

Thanks, Papa and Cheryl, for giving Capitola the finest example of what restaurant dining should be. You have touched my life (and my stomach) with your gifts of food, generosity, and friendship. Capitola is a better place because of Papa O’s and I’m a better (a little tubbier, but a lot happier) person, too. We will miss you but, wish you laughter, fun and happy times.

Cheers!

But before I do, here’s an overview to my book: Real Beauty Book Overview. Enjoy!

Now without further adieu….

Rosie is beautiful because she is…..SUPPORTIVE & a GOOD LISTENER. She always asks everyone what is happening in their lives. You KNOW she is listening so intently and cares what you are saying. I’ve not known anyone who gets so excited when you share good news and she is the first to sympathize when news is not so good. It’s as if Rosie jumps into my heart and can feel exactly what I’m feeling.

Rosie is selfless in a group. She’s always reaching out to make everyone comfortable. I really don’t like talking about myself but I always find myself excited to tell my news to Rosie – I don’t feel self-conscious or awkward. I can’t wait to see her smile while I share my latest and greatest.

When I became engaged, I was conscientious to whom I told because I didn’t want to seem braggy. But I couldn’t wait to tell Rosie. Do you know what she did? She screamed and jumped up and down like a little kid. She was so ecstatic that I started to cry. I felt like a million dollars. Rosie makes everyone feel like that.

I remember when I worked with her – I would get caught up I my own world until Rosie came. She was like a breath of fresh air and she would remind me that there was more to life than work. She always put a smile on my face. I became interested in what was going on in her life so I could discover what made her so happy. I wanted to be happy like Rosie.

I think Rosie wants to surround herself with the people she loves. And the more people she meets, the more people she has to love – and the more people love her. I don’t know anyone who isn’t endeared to Rosie.

Rosie is a tiny woman, but when I think about her and her beauty – she is larger than life. Even though I don’t see her very often, I enjoy getting letters from her – it’s as if she is right next door. I feel just as close to her.

Happy Birthday, Rosie – you are quite a treasure in my life.

Real Beauty Book Overview