I’d be filthy rich if I was paid to read books – any books – and food labels, cereal boxes, shampoo bottles, website terms & conditions, trademark rules, curling iron manuals, cookbooks, etc. I remember loving books in kindergarten and reading the newspaper in grade one.

But it wasn’t until my 3rd grade teacher at Our Lady of Guadalupe in Hermosa Beach, Mrs. Kidwell, held a reading contest, did the fire really start of burn. There was a huge bug on the wall and each class member had a section of the bug’s body with our names. We received a star for every book we read.

As I do when I’m obsessed with something, I went overboard. I read book after book with a new found frenzy. I was insatiable. As I recall, the stars poured over my card an onto the bug’s body beneath it. And…I think I won – it made such an impression that I kept my bug body and stars – I still have them in my special keepsake box of my proudest accomplishments.

That’s what I remember most about Mrs. Kidwell. She put me in my first advanced reading group (I was rewarded for loving to read – yeah!) and fueled the fire.

Even though Mrs. Kidwell left on maternity leave during the year, I still consider 3rd grade one of the best (despite a Dorothy Hamill haircut and gauchos – just kidding, mum) because she challenged me and helped me discover one of my favourite hobbies.

I can’t believe she’s been at OLG for 25 years. She doesn’t look a day older than she used to and, is just as lovely and friendly. I can imagine the kids adore her as much as we did in 19-blahbadhi-blah-blah.

She was my mum’s teaching partner for a spell, too. My mum seemed to get all the best partners. I’m sure it was wonderful to be in the class with them — two hot mamas guiding the cute little kiddies.

Mrs. Kidwell, thank you for helping me discover my true love of reading. It is one the greatest gifts I’ve received and one of my best habits. You left a positive impression on me and I’ll always be grateful for your inspiration.

Happy Retirement!

Cheers, Kristin & Rob

(An aside – here are two pics of the show – one before and one at the end – dancing and crying room only):

This got me thinking about how I sometimes live inside my head and dwell on stress, worry, judgments, fairness (or unfairness) and disappointments – and I occasionally miss enjoying the awesome moments in my life.

Well, no more!

A while ago, I decided to create a new mantra to help me deal with challenging people – knowing it’s me who has to change, not them. I was tired of being disillusioned and left feeling angry or crabby.

The mantra? H.E.L.P – pretty simple, huh? Yet it took me the whole 39 years of my life (or 29 according to my darling husband) to create this. It means I’m praying for Happiness, Empathy, Love and Peace for this person, and for myself. And it worked pretty well.

But I was upset when things didn’t pan out how I anticipated. I was working hard to make a difference and believed I deserved certain outcomes. I would try to envision abundance and happiness – and it worked to a degree – but I could still work myself up into a snit when things didn’t go my way.

My husband said – let go of my expectations, don’t attach yourself to the outcomes – of course, Zen Rohan – and he’s right – but I don’t just jump paths and start skipping to a new tune without pondering, visualising, and holding a personal pep rally (including new outfit, inspirational song, and interpretive dance to commemorate the occasion).

So, in true Sweet & Sassy Style, I decided to embrace my ANGELS and kick out the DEMONS.

What else would you expect from a Straight-A, Catholic school girl, certified former cheerleader and journalism major with a proofreading pet peeve? I like to spell things out…correctly.

Kicking out the DEMONS:
I will let go of my Delusions/Distress, Ego, Madness (as in anger, not insanity, pardon you), Onerousness, Negativity, and Sentencing/Skeptical nature.

Embracing my ANGELS:
I will Accept, Nurture, be more Grateful/Generous, Encourage, be Light (as in less serious, not low fat), and Surrender my expectations.

Why am I sharing this with my 2 readers – and all the lovely loyal spambots that visit my site at an excruitating rate?

Firstly, everything is a good idea at 5am. Secondly, I don’t want to miss out on all the awesome experiences I have by letting my dark side (aka Darth Rohan) overshadow my better self.

To be honest, I don’t think I’m a monster. But when I arrived in Sydney, I decided to change/tweak the parts of my self that I didn’t like so much. These are them.

Now if I can just finish my Advent postings by next Christmas, I’ll be batting 1000. Hey, procrastination wasn’t one of my resolutions…

It’s hard to say goodbye to people I love. And I’m lucky to have had and continue to have (too many words) so many fabulous people that I love. One such chap surprisingly came into my life through my husband, Rob. Bob was my husband’s step-grandfather and one of the gentlemen my husband most admired. I grew to admire him, as well. Bob made a place in my heart rather quickly and I enjoyed all the time we spent with him.

I first wrote about Bob here: http://kristinrohan.com/2007/03/19/the-lords-are-still-leaping/. I never got enough of Bob, but the time spent with him was invigorating, meaningful and fun. He was sharper than any 89-year-old could be. I had to keep on my toes around him, especially playing backgammon, because he was a madman on the board. There was a light inside of him that did not ever fade – even the last time we saw him. He was alert, funny and full of the dickens. I will miss him.

The best way I can share Bob is through this letter I wrote to Nora Roberts (www.noraroberts.com – his one and only favorite author) for his birthday last year. Bob was a class act and my life is happier for knowing him. He’s still here, you know – and will be every time I drink Rum or Johnny Walker Red, and read a Nora Roberts book.

**********************************

Hello Ms. Roberts,

Hope you are well. I have a friend – actually he is my step-grandfather, and is very dear to me. He is a super-huge fan of yours. Actually, he really only reads your books. Since I am quite of a fan myself, we’ve developed a strong bond over the last few years.

Bob is in his late eighties – he’s homebound but very sharp. I love him so much and always look for something new to send him. I give him a lot of your books (after I read them, of course) and he is SOO happy to receive them. I’m sure he’s like me, and reads them over and over. I have a hard time parting with them, but, for Bob, it’s worth it.

About 2 years ago, my husband and I went to Puerto Vallarta for vacation with Bob and my husbands step-mom. We had a ton of your books to read. And we did. Every morning, Bob and I would get up before everyone, have some rum and start reading. We did a lot of bonding that week – it was probably one of the most meaningful times I’ve had. I have to say, it’s because we shared the love of your books that brought us close. When I left, both of use were teary but happy to have spent so much time together.

So, thanks for helping two people grow close and for writing such kickin’ books. I couldn’t even tell you my favorites – I think the Born in Ice, Fire and Shame are a few.

********************************

Gracias, Bob – Te Amo and Salud – hope you are water skiing the hell out of heaven!

*****************************
This is a story about my husband, my best friend, my heart,
Who is sexy, and funny and much too smart.

Though he’ll deny he’s the most fabulous man in my life,
I say the proudest role I have is being his wife.

It was the morning of Feb 4, at 7:15,
My husband and I could not have forseen.

A potential disaster awaiting us down at the beach,
Thank goodness I was not out of my husband’s reach.

As we walked in the crosswalk on Esplanade & Cliff Drive,
My husband, my protector, took a terrible dive.

When a white car came toward us, a teenage boy behind the wheel,
Who didn’t stop when he saw us, it was all so surreal.

My husband grabbed me, and threw me out of harm’s way,
But the jalopy clipped my husband, on that terrible day.

We went flying, with hot coffee, detox juice and all,
Everything landed on my husband and he broke my fall.

The punk stopped just long enough so I could shout,
“You hit my husband” as I followed him, and shook my finger about.

For there was my sweetheart who had just had a fright,
But he was more worried about me running out of his sight.

He couldn’t protect me if I was too far away,
My love for him grew so much stronger that day.

I’m the luckiest lady to have a husband so great,
But I think we won’t go walking again before eight.

I’ve written about my mumsy and pops before but not together as a super couple – like Luke & Laura, Bo & Hope, Roman & Marlena, Trixie and Dixie, Beanie & Cecil, and Rum & Coke.

What can I say? I love my parents – they are cool. They raised 3 crazy kids (though I’m the favorite – hey, it’s my blog), had 2 careers and always had time to take us to the most fabulous museums and road trips every summer. My favorite vacation was a exclusive tour of the Olympia Brewery when I was about 4. So I was exposed to culture at an early age. That’s why I’m so sophisticated. My parents took us to educational places – that’s why I love to learn. That and they were both fabulous teachers. So much so that I asked every summer if I could go to summer school with my dad – my mom said no – I had to have more fun – isn’t that great? Well, I was a bookworm so it was helpful.

I couldn’t ask for better parents. I am quite attached – thank goodness I met my husband, or they would have been stuck with me for good. And I would have been fine with that. But I know that would have cramped their fun and parties. My parents are cool – they took in punk rock bands, turtles, random friends of all of us – and embraced them all with acceptance and good hospitality. We had Corrosion of Conformity staying at our house – there were so many of them, I tripped over them getting ready for school one morning. Then Husker Du came over to play basketball at our house. My mom always had a smile and a pat on the back for every person to come through the door.

I can’t claim an unreasonable attachment to Ginger & Ed – everyone loves them. They are a hoot and always ready for new adventures – except my mom draws the line at wearing a hoop skirt at my dad’s civil war reinactments. All my friends love them – and my colleagues, too. I always try to bring my parents to whatever job I have and they always make a grand impression. I was working at an agency and my parents came in one time – my mom made friends with the secretary, whom she still emails after 11 years and my dad struck up a few conversations with the guys – in about 20 minutes.

Their secret? They are interested in other people – they are good listeners, good guests, SO generous and just plain funny. But my mom doesn’t always get jokes – she was a second grade teacher for about 30 years. So when my dad and I are laughing about The Far Side, she looks at it and then asks – “I don’t get it. The pilot is rocking the plane back and forth on purpose and then telling everyone they are going to hit more turbulence? That’s not funny.” And after she says that – it isn’t funny anymore (except for Far Side).

I’ve come up with the crazy ideas over the years, and they’ve been pretty supportive – the 82 times I moved, the 65 jobs I had, my colored career path (from cookie cart girl, yogurt queen, Catholic camp counselor, bartender, Weight Watchers Leader, media mogul (magazines, newspapers, agencies, etc) – they’ve gone with the flow.

I know daughters turn into their mothers (I’ll write more about that in October) but I think I’m turning into both my parents. I can’t be more happy. But I’ll draw the line at stowing a cannon in my garage and visiting all the Civil War battlegrounds (maybe) and having a sweatshirt to commemorate every holiday including Groundhog Day, Boxing Day and Arbor Day.l

I can go on and on but I’ll wrap it up by saying – Happy Anniversary – I did a great job with you. You’ve turned into the kind of parents and kid can take home to their parents.

Cheers,
The Favorite.

Okay, okay – I’m finally on my last day of Christmas. I know there are 12 days of Christmas but I seemed to have gotten confused (easy, I know) and wrote 12 when I thought it was 10 – blah, blah, blah – can you tell me you know the days of Christmas in order? Maybe from Five Golden Rings on down…You know what I’m saying.

Anyhoo – here I am – left to ponder on piping pipers. I think of getting on a soap box and tooting my own agenda and opinions. I do it. I admit it. I try to curb it. Don’t tell me how I’m doing. I’m working on it.

But I’ve really been working on listening to other people more – I don’t really like to talk about myself, but I do. But if I HAD to get on my soapbox about something here it is…..

The world is a beautiful place. The state of society scares and depresses me. I think our morals, manners, and relationships are going downhill. We buy gadgets that are supposed to save time – do you have more time? Do you fill it using other gadgets? We are losing contact with each other. We talk AT each other, not with each other. Conversations consist of movie stars and what’s on television. Emails are rude and full of jargon like “ping” and “at the end of the day” and “that being said” and “moving forward” – be honest – how many emails do you get with those phrases?

I don’t see or hear much of “please” and “thank you.” Work consists of moving up the food chain – not working in teams. We are not good examples to the next generation – that is why I think a lot of them are lost, have bad behaviors and not a lot of direction. This is our fault.

OKAY, I know, this is a generalization and not everyone is that bad – but it boils down to this for me: We are not in tune with nature. We don’t act peacefully – we don’t give back what nature gives to us. I am guilty of it, too, but I’m changing. I want to add to the positive aura of the world, not the negative. I want to be happy not right – you read it here first! I want to help heal the earth. That’s more than any protest will do; more than recycling will do; more than voting will do – all those are valid and important, but peace, beauty, love, kindness all begin inside me and inside you.

I’m lucky to know a lot of wonderful men and women whom you’ve met along the journey of my blog. I looked inside each one to find redeeming qualities (it wasn’t hard, they were obvious). It’s been an awesome exercise because I’m now doing this with everyone. I don’t get along with everyone – different values, different paths, different priorities. But to keep with the peace theme, I find it better to look for someone’s good qualities more than the ones that repel me. I then have compassion and more understanding of them.

So, as they say in Yoga Booty Ballet (don’t laugh, it’s awesome) – Spread Love – the spirit in me respects the spirit in you and all that hullabaloo. Take it with you and stuff.

Merry Christmas ~~~~~ k

So when I left off a hundred years ago, I was bragging about my hubbie and my pops – 2 great men of any time. But I’m not done. I have some other great men to share with…well, myself….

My brother Eddie – so I wrote about Andy (hey, brother) in an earlier blog – but this is the other brother. Here’s what I admire most about him – he talks to everyone. He’s friendly to anyone (not just hot girls) and welcomes them into the conversation, no matter what. He’s not shy, but pretty generous with his time. He’s good with kids and he’s a nice guy.

He’s also very well-rounded – he tries all sorts of new adventures (http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8Ict2bZwyashu) and he has good manners. He tries to fit into the environment and doesn’t try to make the environment fit him. That’s pretty cool.

Here’s one quick story – before I learned how to play golf, he took me to hit balls – he asked me if I wanted to try – didn’t push me – he told me I could be good and was nice about it, not pushy. So I took lessons and he took me out for my first official game – with his buddies, almost all men on the course. But you know what? He was really cool and didn’t boss me around. He probably knew how nervous I was but he coached me in a way that made me feel comfortable and confident. I used to cringe whenever I saw a man trying to teach a woman to golf – they are impatient and not very nice – but not my bro. I probably love golf so much because he helped me have some good experiences. Thanks, Spag-eddie.

My Papa Vern was a gentle and loving soul. He was so talented with wood – he could make anything – like my dad – and he loved us grandkids. He would make us the yummiest skinny pancakes – I can still smell them when he and my grandma visited from Washington. One time when my family went to WA and climbed Hurricane Mountain, I was being a brat (novel, I know) and didn’t want to walk by myself. He carried me a long way so I wouldn’t be tired. What a champ.

My Papa Harry was a true gentleman and a scholar – he was a college professor and always asked about what I was learning in school. He was a happy man – I remember his laugh so vividly – and he loved to read….just like me. He had such a strong faith and always wrote me letters telling me how much he was thinking about me and praying for me. He was generous with his time (always helping out at church) and loved my mom’s tacos (who doesn’t?). I was lucky to see him so many Sundays when he came over for dinner. He, like Papa Vern, was the perfect grandpa.

My Uncle Bob (my god father), is a pretty talented guy – he cooks the best food – chorizo, enchiladas, any kind of meat – and is an avid reader, too. He’s a dedicated dad and grandad and is quite a talented skier. He took me on my first ski trip and made sure I took lessons and that I was enjoying it. He and my Aunt Toni always made me feel welcome in their home – even when I show up last minute for Easter. They just move the chairs and pop another plate on the table. If you can have one of my Uncle’s homecooked meals, you will have a happy stomach. Yum!

My Uncle Andy (married to Aunt Lolly) was another hip cat. He played golf and wore the coolest black beret. I don’t ever remember him without a smile on his face. He always said, “boy oh boy” like he was always excited about what was happening. Even when he was very sick in the hospital, I don’t remember him being anything but smiling and interested in what everyone was saying. He and my Aunt Lol were the funnest couple (besides my parents – oh, and my husband and me – haha!).

My step-grandpa Bob is the most awesome guy I know. He’s been around the world and had an incredible life. I met him a few years ago but I love him fiercely. We were so lucky to spend a week with him in Mexico and few years back and the best times I had were sitting around, drinking rum and reading trashy novels with him. There aren’t too many cool cats around anymore, but he is the king. Though he’s on my husband’s side of the family, I think of him as my own grandpa and I have a huge soft spot for him in my heart.

A few other noteworthy dudes – my buddy Eric taught me the finer qualities of corporate behavior – whether we were smoking cigarettes and drinking beer in the office after hours, or yelling at each other before 8am. or being threatened to paying for lame mistakes that happened (did you know December does not have 30 days?) – it was never a dull moment when he’s around. He lives in Denver now with his lovely wife and 2 (hopefully wild and crazy) boys. But the best times I had at the ad agency I worked at were fighting, drinking and yelling with him.

My buddy Jay was my best friend in Pacifica – he was my first friend – and if it wasn’t for Jay, I wouldn’t have met my husband. Jay was a crybaby – but he had the biggest, most generous heart of anyone I’ve ever met. He would give away his shirt if someone (preferably a hot guy) asked for it. We would spend hours gossiping and laughing. I didn’t know I could laugh that much! Jay was so outrageous, and everyone loved him – you couldn’t help it – even if you tried. He was one of the purest souls and truest friends I’ve ever known.

Lastly, my buddy Sean is the FUNNEST guy everyone has ever met. And he knows EVERYONE. And from his myspace page (http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=60472504) – this says it all – all the hot chicks – but I know his dude friends are the most important. He’s a real catch, so I know some smart gal is going to snap him up – and she will be the lucky one.

The dudes are just as special as the ladies – I love them all the same – different but all grand. And they all have one thing in common….kristin! isn’t that fabulous!?!

Hold on to your hats and glasses, I’m switching gears. I blab on and on about how wonderful women are. And I believe it. I believe women are goddesses – the absolute beauty of this world. This does not mean I hate men – it’s the complete opposite. I love men. They are as important as women – there’s no us without them. There has to be a balance – a ying and yang. (This is not a political blog – it’s an appreciative blog. No matter what your gender, orientation, lifestyle, whatever – We are all in this world together and we need each other to survive.)

If it weren’t for men, I would probably have been a nun – but I discovered boys in kindergarten, so that lofty career went out the window. But besides being boy crazy since 6, I’ve been blessed to know some of the most amazing men on the planet. Here’s my short-list….I can’t tell you how much these men mean to me – each of them have played a special role in my life and I’m a better person for it.

My Pops – my dad is the best dad. This man built a playhouse for me, raked leaves for me to jump in, took me to the park, let me hide his screwdrivers, drove me to school (one day we missed my school and drove to his school because we were talking), drove me to college every year, moved me in and out of many places….and the list goes on.

And after all that he still builds me furniture, makes me CD’s of all kinds of crazy music, sends me funny articles on email, loves my burnt cookies and lets me keep my 8 (not 11) boxes of childhood treasures in the garage. He always checks in on us, and, like my mom, never stopped being a good parent. My parents are two of the most loyal, upright, fun and generous people I know. And the best thing my dad did for me, is to be a great man so I would choose someone just like him to be my husband.

Rob – my hubba hubbie – I won’t say to much because he’s about the only person who reads my blog and hates when anyone says anything nice about him. But I’ll tell you this much – I’m the luckiest wife on earth – I have a husband who thinks I’m beautiful.

What more do I need to say – besides this…he goes to the Beach Boys with me 2 times a year – and he goes to musicals (Rent is his favorite – not really – and Les Miserables wasn’t miserable enough – I won’t even comment on Mamma Mia), and the Renaissance Faire, any Art & Wine Festival and any local live band that suits my fancy – and all the parties, too. He carries heavy things, too.

He’s a computer geek (I prefer genius) and he invents stuff – www.robrohan.com – he will help you with whatever you need. He has scads of integrity – he’s like a gallant knight – and let’s me win Candyland. For every woman looking for a wonderful man, go find a Rob – you’ll thank me!

Okay – stay tuned – I’m just getting warmed up. More tomorrow – zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

So…as I continue to ponder the 9 Ladies Dancing thing, it reminds me of how much I LOVE musicals. I think they are the best kind of movies. Give me a musical over any other kind of film and I’m happy.

Maybe it’s because in my mind, my life is a musical – whatever – I don’t really think most movies should be made. I think taking a hard-luck story and exploiting it is wrong. I think taking a huge world catastrophe and making a movie is wrong. Most movies are about people treating other people badly. They are about hurting other people – about using violence and power to get your way.

I really think most movies are made to make money. That’s why they stink so bad. Movie stars are over-paid and they are revered for being good looking, skinny, dramatic and not really very nice to other people – and most of them do not have talent. (rant, rant, rant, I know!)

But in musicals….you HAVE to have talent – singing, dancing, playing an instrument, coordination, ALL of it – so fabulous. And I can watch them over and over. I’m not saying there’s not violence in musicals, but I think there’s so much more talent – and entertainment involved. I think the reason people don’t like musicals is that they are miserable and like to watch dark, violent, mean movies. Where’s their sunny side, their bright side, their happy feet?!

Since it’s my blog, I’m not going to end this on a fair note. I say Musicals rock – hahaa – and that’s that!

I don’t mean talking and yapping – I overachieve in that respect – I mean to let my true colors shine. I’ve always been self-conscious and afraid of really being me else people would make fun of me and reject me. If I’m not being myself and they reject me, who cares, right?

But to wear the clothes I really want to wear (I love sarongs and hats and scarves and flowers) when I don’t look like a model or it’s not “in” that season, well, that’s been a bit more challenging. But I’ve let my true nature out more and more and it makes me feel free and beautiful. Doesn’t everyone deserve to feel that way?

We just moved to Capitola – we are right in the heart of the beach village. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made (besides marrying my husband). And it has REALLY given me the confidence to be me. And what does that mean to you? Probably nothing – but to me, it means a lot. I like to look and feel pretty. I always have. I know it’s not solving world hunger or anything, but when I’m happy and feel good about myself – inside and out – then I like to help others feel the same way.

I think as women we are pitted against each other – if someone is prettier than me, she’s a threat. And I’ve seen this happen so many time. I find that to be very sad. I sure have felt that way, but that’s because I didn’t allow myself to be comfortable in my skin. When I turned 30, I started feeling so much better about myself. I started dressing more like I wanted and letting old hurts and yuckies fall away. Am I perfect now, heck no – but I’m definitely better.

I think the 2 people who are most comfortable in their skins are my mom and my mom-in-law. They are so lovely – and it’s just how they act – sure and purposeful and generous and loving. Lucky me! I feel more and more like it everyday. I used to stress about not being skinny – now I feel good so I let a lot of those worries go. I like feeling good rather than worrying about if I look good. Whew, what a relief.

I’ll continue to dance (no more somersaults on the dance floor, don’t ask) and share more of the real me. If you don’t like it, please call 1-800-idontcare and leave your feedback. I’ll be out having a hoot.