me to you…

On the REAL Ninth Day of Christmas…

Posted on September 13, 2006 in the Inspiration category

My true love gave to me…9 Ladies Dancing
Since I already talked about dancing a few days(months ago) – see Swans a Swimming – I want to double-say how much I love to dance. It’s really an expression of myself. And I think it has been hard for me to express myself most of my life.

I don’t mean talking and yapping – I overachieve in that respect – I mean to let my true colors shine. I’ve always been self-conscious and afraid of really being me else people would make fun of me and reject me. If I’m not being myself and they reject me, who cares, right?

But to wear the clothes I really want to wear (I love sarongs and hats and scarves and flowers) when I don’t look like a model or it’s not “in” that season, well, that’s been a bit more challenging. But I’ve let my true nature out more and more and it makes me feel free and beautiful. Doesn’t everyone deserve to feel that way?

We just moved to Capitola – we are right in the heart of the beach village. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made (besides marrying my husband). And it has REALLY given me the confidence to be me. And what does that mean to you? Probably nothing – but to me, it means a lot. I like to look and feel pretty. I always have. I know it’s not solving world hunger or anything, but when I’m happy and feel good about myself – inside and out – then I like to help others feel the same way.

I think as women we are pitted against each other – if someone is prettier than me, she’s a threat. And I’ve seen this happen so many time. I find that to be very sad. I sure have felt that way, but that’s because I didn’t allow myself to be comfortable in my skin. When I turned 30, I started feeling so much better about myself. I started dressing more like I wanted and letting old hurts and yuckies fall away. Am I perfect now, heck no – but I’m definitely better.

I think the 2 people who are most comfortable in their skins are my mom and my mom-in-law. They are so lovely – and it’s just how they act – sure and purposeful and generous and loving. Lucky me! I feel more and more like it everyday. I used to stress about not being skinny – now I feel good so I let a lot of those worries go. I like feeling good rather than worrying about if I look good. Whew, what a relief.

I’ll continue to dance (no more somersaults on the dance floor, don’t ask) and share more of the real me. If you don’t like it, please call 1-800-idontcare and leave your feedback. I’ll be out having a hoot.


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